Damn, That Was Close (Again...)

Holy Shit! I'm sure all the rest of you are as thankful as I am that the Department of Fatherland Homeland Security is just so motherfucking on the goddamn ball. I mean, shit--I'm as fake-ass-war-on-terror bashing as the rest of y'all, but when I find out that they're putting Homicidal Islamic Fundamentalist Nutjobs like this one away, I have to give them their props:

During conversations with (Tennessee Bureau of Investigation agent) Burroughs, who portrayed himself as an Islamic fundamentalist and told Omari he could get stolen nerve gas and C-4 (plastic explosive), Omari told of his dreams of exploding a briefcase bomb with stolen plutonium while Congress was in session. He also talked about making batches of poisoned marijuana to kill Jewish residents of Jackson, or spraying them with mustard gas from an ultralight plane.

Damn. That's some scary-ass shit. I don't know about you, but the idea of some religiously-motivated wacko flying over my neighborhood spraying poison from an ultralight sound uncomfortably plausible (don't forget--these freaks have been caught with ricin right here in the U S of A). This guy wasn't just talk, either. He was busted shortly after he purchased what he fully believed were the ingredients for making sarin--that's fucking nerve gas, people.

But what I don't understand is why this didn't make a huge splash in the media. I mean, would-be terrorists trying to buy nerve gas right here at home? Hello!? Anyone at Fox listening?

Oh, wait--could it be because he's white?*

Yeah, I know I pulled the same shit back in March, but Fer Fuck's Sake, this shit pisses me off. I won't go into the rant here (you're welcome to read the original), but all fake-ass-war-on-terror bashing aside, a whole bunch of people are going to have a really, really, really bad day when another one of these fuckers gets all Timothy McVeigh. Hijack four jetliners simultaneously and fly 75% of them into national landmarks killing thousands of people? That shit's hard: it requires a lot of funding, a sophisticated network, and a shitload of planning. Stuff a bunch of fertilizer and diesel fuel into the back of a Ryder truck and light the fuse? Any malcontent with a credit card and an internet connection could pull that shit off.

Folks, I have an almost infinite capacity for schadenfreude, but the fact that another Oklahoma City would probably expose the fake-ass-war-on-terror-fighting Republicans for cynical, lying demagogues that they are would not make me feel even the tiniest better if another 168 people ended up dead from ricin, cyanide gas, plague, or nerve gas--all of which white supremacists have either obtained or attempted to obtain.

And, yeah, I know that the vast, vast majority of these idiots are half-assed losers who couldn't organize a one-car parade, but it only takes one to really fucking ruin a lot of people's day.

So here's an idea--Alberto Gonzales is, after all, our nation's highest law enforcement officer (when he isn't busy justifying torture) . So one might be pardoned for thinking that he might actually want to do something about Terrorists who are fucking well buying Real Live Weapons of Mass Motherfucking Destruction! So why don't you drop him an email, and tell him something like this:

Mister Attorney General: I am in possession of information regarding terrorist cells currently operating in the United States. I have verified knowledge that they have acquired or attempted to acquire weapons of mass destruction, and have made plans to attack government buildings and personnel. I am offering to share this knowledge with you on the conditions that you a) pull your head out of your ass and quit fucking lying about the ELF, and b) actually fucking do something about these nutjobs before they spray ricin on my kid's little league game.

PS-if you still need help, the ADL and SPLC have been doing your fucking job for you for the past 20 years.

But that's my version. I'd really like it if you'd try to write something a little more diplomatic. Because I can't.

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*As in March, the only details that have been changed are "White Supremacist" to "Islamic Terrorist," "Crocker" to "Omari," and "Black" to "Jewish."