Amanda Hates Me...

No, seriously. It's just her comments. Sigh.

I posted a longish comment over at Pandagon today, and it disappeared into the ether. Fortunately, it was still sitting around in draft form, so I'll pass it on to you so that it shall not perish from the earth.

The thread was on the Spanish-language version of the National Anthem (which I think looks to be, like Gay Marriage, bad strategy for the short-term backlash reasons, but absolutely the right thing to do for the long-term "We're here, we're Hispanic, get used to us!" effect), and I wanted to address three important themes that had developed during the comments: 1) the unsuitability of the Star Spangled Banner as a National Anthem because of it's relative unsingability, 2) the racist assholery inherent in W's response to Nuestro Himno, and 3) the myriad suggestions of alternative National Anthems.

So, close your eyes, and imagine that you are at Amanda's. Hear the well-reasoned, yet snarky commentary dished up by those who are not only smarter than I am, but more politically astute as well. Feel the hip vibe of bloggers who have only ever seen The Brady Bunch in re-runs. Now open your eyes, and read my comments:

1) The SSB is really not that hard to sing. Serious. It does require a decent range, but as I understand it, it's just that it's customarily played in a key that's great for marching bands, but hell on amateur voices. As spine-tingling militaristic anthems go, it really is a lot of fun.

2) When I heard the sound bite of W's response, I was, for a moment, gripped by what I can only explain as a hallucinatory level of hope. Y'see, when he said,

"I think the National Anthem should be sung..."

what immediately popped into my mind, and what for some insane reason I actually thought he was going to say, was:

...in every language. It's a beautiful song, and this here is a beautiful country. What makes us so wonderful is the multitude of voices, and I want to hear those voices.

I want to hear all those voices. I want to hear those voices making a joyous noise unto the Lord in every language of God's creation, praising this magnificent country in every tongue the Lord gave us.

I think the National Anthem ought to be sung in Spanish. And I think it ought to be sung in English. It should be sung in German, Irish, French and Italian. It should be sung in in Cantonese, Mandarin, Lakota, Hopi, Hindi, Hebrew, and Arabic. It should be sung in every language of every immigrant who ever came to these shores looking for an honest job and a better future for their children.

If you want to work hard, take care of your family, and love this magnificent country, then I want to hear you sing the Anthem in the language that your parents and grandparents spoke when they dreamed--when they dreamed--that one day you would be able to stand on these soils and sing proudly and unafraid, "My country, 'tis of thee."

But he didn't. He said "...in English." The big putz.

3) Finlandia. Fer fuck's sake, people, can I really be the only person who has thought of Findlandia? I mean, I know it because I hang out with old Leftist-Folkie-Quaker types, but didn't Dar Williams start singing it in concert right after 9/11?

OK, it's even harder to sing than the SSB, but damn--the lyrics:

This is my song, O God of all the nations
A song of peace, for lands afar & mine
This is my home, the country where my heart is
Here are my hopes, my dreams, my holy shrine
But other hearts in other lands are beating
With hopes and dreams as true and high as mine

My country's skies are bluer than the ocean
And sunlight beams on clover leaf and pine
But other lands have sunlight too, and clover
And skies are everywhere as blue as mine
O hear my song, thou God of all the nations
A song of peace for their land and for mine

Yeah, I know--a song that says "We're no better than anyone else and world peace would be a pretty cool thing" is going exactly nowhere with people who can't even tolerate hearing their favorite English Drinking Song sung in the native language of 40 million of their fellow citizens.

But I can dream, can't I?