Gay-Manaphobia

A while ago, I got all preachy about those people who think that gay marriage is a plague sent from Satan to destroy our republic. I took them to task for being just a wee bit selective about which verses of the bible are the Literal Word of Jehova, and which are awkward lapses in His judgment which we can just pretend he didn't say (as in, heavy on the Ellen Degeneres is a burn-in-hell abomination, not so much on the stone my daughter to death on my doorstep).

The religious justification is so weak, and the citation of those particular passages so incredibly selective (there are 23,214 verses in the old testament, and only a tiny handful are ever cited against homosexuality), that it really can't be thought of as religion-based. It's homophobia-based

.But y'see, it's not really homophobia-based either. Let's face it--homosexuality isn't the problem. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that when people get all squeamish and hateful and disgusted and start using words like "abomination" and "filthy," in their heart of hearts, they're not talking about Melissa Etheridge and Martina Navratilova. Lesbians don't come in for nearly the hatred, scorn, and violence that gay men do. Not that lesbians don't suffer from homophobia, but speaking as someone who grew up homophobic in Texas, I'd have to say that homophobia is at most 20% about Lesbians and 80% about gay men. Yes, people are often incredibly ugly and violent towards lesbians, but for real gut-level, ugly fear and hatred, it's gay men.

Hell, straight guys even like to see pseudo-lesbian sex in their pornography. "Lesbo Babes in the Hot Tub" you can find in a copy of Penthouse at 7-11 or Barnes and Noble. "Hot Twinks in the Locker Room?" Hmm. Not so readily available.

Madonna kissing Britney Spears caused a fair amount of sensation, it was nothing, absolutely fuckin nothing compared to what would have happened if it had been Brad Pitt sliding his tongue around inside Leonardo Dicaprio's mouth.

I mean, can you imagine the explosion? Rick Santorum probably would have sponsored a bill banning music awards shows. Seriously--the people who complained that Madonna and Britney were causing teen girls to explore "sinful" and "perverted" sexuality would have fucking come unglued if it had been Brad and Leo up there swapping spit.

That's cause lesbians are seen as, if perverted, sinful and doomed to hell, still kinda cute and cuddly. They're girls, for christ's sake (NB--this is mainstream, sexist opinion speaking here, not me)--they're relatively harmless. Pubescent girls "trade gum" and "practice kissing" on each other--that's really damn common. But can you imagine if two junior high boys were caught "trading gum?" Not cute. Not cuddly. Really, really not OK.

So, I propose that we start calling the motivating force behind the all the recent nastiness "gay-manophobia." All this ballyhoo about gay marriage, Sponge Bob, adoption, etc. is just an extension of garden-variety homophobia, which is really just an extension of a gay-man-ophobia: just a whole bunch of uptight straight men scared, confused, and really, really angered by the existence of gay men, and the fact that they're not going away.

It's not about scripture. It's not about the sanctity of marriage (you opportunistic, hypocrictical fucks), it's not about America's moral compass. It's about gay-manophobia, the gut level fear and revulsion that some people feel when they contemplate two men physically demonstrating their affection for one another.

Now, I'm not sure I can shed much light on where gay-manophobia comes from, but I can tell you one thing that's just as plain as goddamn day. Gay-manophobes aren't afraid of lesbians. Sure, there's some resentment there about the whole "if you have sex with each other then men can't control your sexuality" thing, but they aren't afraid.

Gay men, on the other hand, whole different question. Look at some gay-manophobic rantings some time (if you can stand to), especially the casual stuff--not the press releases or the sermon, but the just-between-us-like-minded-folks kind of things, and you'll see just a whole lot, I mean continual references to the threat of gay men wanting to, thinking about, and/or forcefully demanding anal sex with straight men. It's the common thread that runs through all the jokes, all the diatribes, all the crude warnings and dire predictions. Gay-manophobes just can't stop talking about gay men having anal sex with straight men.

And what that comes down to (besides a whole lot of closeted/repressed men) is fear. There are few things as spiteful and dangerous as a bully who thinks the tables might be turning. Straight men are used to having the privilege of pursuit. That is, they are the hunters, women are the prey. Men take sex, women give it up. Men penetrate, women are penetrated. It's crude, but a lot of men feel this way way down inside, and not a few are quite willing to endorse it as the natural order of things. So the thought of a gay man looking at them, thinking about them, maybe even forcibly raping them threatens the very foundations of hetero-patriarchy and the incalculable privilege that goes along with it.

It ain't about scripture, baby--it's about privilege.